Sunlight Shining Through Cloud

When I was young and stupid, there were lots of new experiences to stimulate the soul. For me, that often took the form of music. Now I’m old, and — since I already know everything — I must search for stimulations. I can turn back to Santana’s Soul Sacrifice live at Woodstock, or to Mike Oldfield or Keith Emerson. I guess what makes my soul sing is… music!

Lisa might be tracking Taylor Swift’s You Need To Calm Down and I be like, Wow! Lemme hear that again. Or I’m watching a Hyundai commercial — Yikes! Who is this couple with eyes that twinkle and tunes that pop (Pomplamoose)?

There’s a lot of time these days to search endlessly for a movie to stream. So many duds. And then, wham! The Vast Of Night which is darn near a no-budget B&W flick set in 1950s New Mexico. A big waste of my time? NO! It’s riveting storytelling. And the bonus is a sound track that will absolutely glue itself to you. Who knew a piano could make the hair stand up on the back of your neck. Can’t get enough.

And just last night, I streamed a Matt Damon movie that bombed at the box office, Downsizing. I liked it… I think. Couldn’t figure out if it was a comedy (Kristen Wiig was in it). Or maybe it had a message (downsize humans to reduce consumption and waste). I was undecided when the credits rolled, and was reaching for the remote when an a cappella group began to sing A Little Change In The Weather. The Swingles, who’ve been around since the ’60s, knocked me outta my armchair. Better than Manhattan Transfer, or Sailor.

So, naturally, I embarked on an obsessive search for everything about The Swingles and, in the process, also discovered Naturally 7. And these guys are great, too!

Okay, so maybe I don’t know everything, after all. But I don’t mind. If every new day brings a happy accident, my soul welcomes it. Maybe it’s time to fit new headphones into the budget. There’s so much to learn…

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The Super Bowl I watched apparently wasn’t the same as the one you watched. I could’ve viewed the Univision version with 3 million Spanish-language fans, or the Nickelodeon version with 1.75 million kid-language fans. But I didn’t. I saw the same CBS version as everybody else. Add ’em all up and you’ve got 123.7 million fans replete with big screens and guacamole and pizza. 7% more viewers than the previous-high Super Bowl, and more viewers than for any previous TV broadcast — including the moon landing!

After all the under-dog, over-hype, GOAT, Swifties puffery, I was set for a really good, evenly-matched competition. What I got was dull, dull, dull.

The cross-tabs haven’t been published yet, so I don’t yet know how (or if) the viewership rose and fell with the swells of the game. No score after the first quarter? 10-3 at the half? 13-10 after the third? Which Pop Warner teams had been suckered into playing this game? By the beginning of the fourth, I was so disappointed that even my second-favorite play-by-play team was sounding stupid to me. In my imagination, network honchos were pulling their toupées off and rending their garments as they watched ratings dropping into their onion dip. It was even hard for me to muster a 3-point pulse increase with the scrapping in the fourth which resulted in overtime. It all came down to a last-moment score which was so blown by the announce team that it was hard to know if the officials had raised their arms. Was the game over?

Nope. To add insult to injury, Patrick Mahomes was named MVP. What? Mind you, Mahomes is probably my favorite NFL player. I know he can never be counted out and he certainly did pull that climactic rabbit out of his helmet. But “most valuable” seems more meritorious to me, and on that score my vote went to 49ers WR Jauan Jenson who both caught a TD pass and threw a TD pass. Not valuable enough? How about 9ers WR Christian McCaffrey who caught 8 for 8 and a touchdown against a smothering Chiefs defense? I know the MVP usually goes to the victor, but it sure would be nice if — once in a while — the final score didn’t cloud the extraordinary efforts of the vanquished.

Post-game headlines have us believing that this was among the more epic contests ever. And the right team won, IMHO. So why am I still unhappy? Because coaching failed to send in plays that write Super Bowl history. Because the much-vaunted “star power” pretty much didn’t show up. Because it should have been a much better game. Because I ran out of guac at halftime.

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It began as a high-speed thrill — a weekly snow machine race up and back on the frozen Yukon River, thinking to myself, “Someday, my grandkids are going to be amazed at the extreme coolness of their grandaddy.” That was back in 1978, and I never forgot.

There are three grands these 45+ years later. The way their worlds are arranged, online telecons bridge the many miles between us. And a depth of conversation can’t really be had at their ages anyway. So I wrote the frozen Yukon story, and then added a few more. And as I wrote, I wondered if my years had produced anything of significance; something useful for the world to enjoy when I’m gone. After 2,000 words, I concluded, “Nah, nuthin’ much.” So I stopped writing, but didn’t stop thinking. And I wound up writing some more.

It started to look like a life story; indeed, a book. So I researched the parameters for an autobiography and found that the skinnier ones usually approach 50,000 words. In all my years, I’ve never written any single thing that large.

Something else I learned is that autobiographies rank among the lowest categories in the world of books. Everyone thinks they’re a writer, but they ain’t. Everyone thinks they’ve got a good story, but they ain’t. And if you ain’t somebody famous, nobody wants to read your drivel. That’s disheartening because an essential part of the writer’s compact is that your words will be read — the more readers the better. That’s why you put all the hard work into it.

If you look at writing as an enterprise, you should be discouraged. If you look at it as a burning need erupting from the core, you write. Damn the consequences. I fit into this latter group, and was smitten with the project for the better part of a year.

The ‘addresses’ structure of Part One made it easier for me to recall events. There were so many, and I scratched a bunch of ’em thinking they weren’t interesting enough. But to me, the surviving stories pointed to a pretty exciting life — one worthy of the exposure.

I was thinking ahead, though, to what would become Part Two: the part where I gave voice to my opinions. “Nobody cares what I think,” I thought, “especially about matters of controversy and matters about which every reader is likely to have formed their own strong opinions.” To achieve that level of caring, I reckoned, the reader has to care about me first. So I worked extra hard to make Part One sparkle.

Imagine my surprise, then, when readers told me that Part One was a bit dull. And, more surprisingly, that they wanted more depth on the subjects contained in Part Two. Honestly, I’m not sure how to do that without maybe pissing some people off.

Which brings me to a comment from reader zuzusays: “I’ve been quite hesitant to write anything [about herself] that would be seen by the public for fear that being honest would hurt feelings, and if I wasn’t honest what would be the point?”

I truly hope that an appeal of my writing style is that I make a point unambiguously, but without flame-throwing. I try to say things strongly and intelligently without making the opposing view look like the utterances of blubbering idiots. The temptation exists, but I resists.

That said, I have found it impossible to not hurt feelings. If they wanna be hurt, they will be — despite my best intentions and the great care I take in crafting words. Probably every public-facing person has stuck his foot in his mouth (as I did, for example, when I said on the air, “The computer made a mistake”). You’re gonna screw up or mis-speak, and even when you don’t, some people will find a reason to call you out for a perceived wrong. It can’t be helped. It will happen. It has happened to me and, sadly, I have lost beloved friends because of it.

I’ve been nearly silent over the past decade for this very reason. “When you reach my age,” I’ve said half jokingly, “you can’t afford to lose any friends.” But, today, I have fewer friends; some are lost to natural causes, and some are lost because of my big mouth.

Well, I’m really sorry about that. But if I don’t get back to doing what I was gifted to do at birth, I will either explode, or die an old, sad man. Either way, I will leave the planet. But maybe I will have left it with a smile on someone’s face. Or a bit of wisdom that inspires someone to greatness. Or gives someone the assurance that life is worth the effort despite the obstacles.

So, look out, interweb: Fred has chewed the lock off his e-cage.

And you weren’t looking forward to 2024.

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Life in the age of Coronavirus. News addicts like me are dangerously close to overdose. Entities of every stripe are rejiggering their operational models. And each will publish a press release that includes the phrase: …out of an abundance of caution…

To me, the phrase suggests that “we don’t really need to be this cautious, but we are anyway because we deeply care about you, our customers, clients, employees, etc.” They could, of course, truthify the wording to read: …our stakeholders (or, more specifically, shareholders). “An abundance of caution” seems disingenuous to me.

The current reality is proving, though, that we really do need to be this cautious.

About ten years ago, I wrote an essay about a bacterium called MRSA. It was widely appreciated at the time, and seems to be holding its water still today – particularly the recommendations for prevention. MRSA is not coronavirus; think of the main text, below, as the alarmist attention-getting part and the rest as the currently-useful prevention part.

So now, with an abundance of snark, I would like to re-publish                      A Moron’s Guide to MRSA (only slightly edited from the original).

_____

A Moron’s Guide to MRSA

Written by an actual moron: Fred Marx

November 2009

Yesterday I was happy-go-lucky, free as a bird, blissfully ignorant. Today I live in fear of a danger that surrounds me: MRSA. I know about deer ticks, lunatics and politics (a redundancy, I know), but I’ve never heard of MRSA. And to be honest, I wish I hadn’t.

MRSA (pronounced: MER-suh) is an acronym for a long medical name that simple folk like me can’t say. But for those of you who want to try, good luck: Methicillin-Resistant Staphylococcus Aureus. If you could say that, you probably don’t need to be reading this. Have a nice day. Drive home safely. But if you’re more comfortable with MER-suh, gather ‘round the campfire, ‘cuz I’ve got a story that’ll scare the heebie-jeebies outta ya.

MRSA is a kind of bacteria. As you already know, bacteria are bad. They can live on your skin! Maybe a gazillion bacteria live on your skin, you mangy dog. Didn’t anyone teach you about hygiene? Years ago, I heard the late radio newsguy Paul Harvey do one of his infamous Rest of the Story essays. In this one, he described in horrid detail the features of a black-and-white B-movie monster. The rest of the story is that this monster is actually a microscopic critter living on YOUR EYELASH. And you’ve got them all over you. Right now! Kinda makes you want to scratch all over. But don’t do that. I’ll tell you why.

MRSA – the bacteria monsters that live on your skin – are pretty innocent little creatures until they spot a cut or a deep scratch. Seeing their big chance at stardom, they pounce into your innards and find their way to parts of you that you really care about and begin to grow into really big creatures. I don’t even want to tell you what these things do inside you (mostly because I don’t really want to know, myself). But I’ve been told by smart people that it can be deadly bad. Or maybe your MRSA will be lazy and settle for living in that paper cut, and then grow into a big boil and then all the neighborhood children will look at it and say “ewww.” And they won’t be laughing as they run away.

The creepy part is that you can wash the MRSA bacteria off your skin with soap and hot water, but they come back. They could be on almost everything you touch: bedposts, broomsticks, steering wheels, door knobs, desktops and even (gasp!) food packages. They are on the skin of almost everyone you touch: your spouse and kids, your clients and customers, your brother Tom, and your Auntie Millie (Well, you already knew Millie had problems).

So we’ve established that you can’t avoid MRSA. The bacteria are practically everywhere. And we’ve established that they’re icky but harmless if they just live on your skin even though they’re not paying you rent.

You’re probably asking yourself right now, “Can this story get any grosser?” Yes, it can.  You can get a MRSA infection by using the same baseball bat used by an infected teammate. Or sitting on the locker room bench where the infection has been unwittingly left by a previous sitter. Or by sharing a shaving razor, or a comb. Or a toilet seat.  Ewww.

Or how about this for ghastly? You go to the doctor’s office or hospital to get well. But these places are full of sick people. You could croak just visiting a nursing home.

It should be quite obvious by now that there are only two options available: 1) you can retire to a cave with plenty of food and 500 channels of satellite TV and live the rest of your days in isolation; or, 2) you can adopt the best practices of healthcare professionals the world over who are as obsessed as you are about staying alive.

What are these best practices? Spend as much time as possible in a hot, soapy shower.  When you’ve been reduced to a prune, dry off, eat a meal, watch an episode of Dirty Jobs with Mike Rowe (Mondays, Discovery), and return to the hot, soapy shower.  Repeat.

No, really. Here’s what you should do to avoid becoming a hermit, becoming a shower-Dirty Jobs zombie, or becoming the victim of a horrible MRSA infection:

  • WASH YOUR HANDS THOROUGHLY AND OFTEN. This is the single most effective way to avoid getting or giving your MRSA monsters a chance at havoc. Use hot water, antibacterial soap, and don’t stop washing until you’ve completed two verses of “Happy Birthday To You.”
  • If soap and water are not immediately available, use an alcohol-based hand sanitizer gel (I prefer the apple-scented variety), and scrub, scrub, scrub.
  • If you’re in the presence of someone known to have a MRSA infection, avoid direct contact. MRSA is highly contagious, remember?
  • If you have a diagnosed MRSA infection on your skin, cover it with a bandage. (Duh! Who wants to get creeped out looking at your pus-filled blisters?)

That seems like a lot. But of course, there’s more. MRSA can live on non-metallic damp or wet surfaces for up to forty-eight hours. And what might those surfaces be? Well, how about the kitchen counter for starters? Maybe the bathroom has a few damp surfaces? The baby’s toys or Jack’s jock strap or Missy’s tutu. The office is generally safe…until people arrive and start touching things.

The point is that where you have control, clean every touchable surface with a disinfectant. Where you don’t have control, see first bullet above.

MRSA is no joke. It can be debilitating to its victims, dangerous to others, and potentially deadly to anyone whose immune system is already compromised by another illness or who is taking antibiotics to treat an illness. You can live life in fear of MRSA, or you can respect it, and take the steps necessary to prevent it.

by Fred Marx

Before I retired, there wasn’t time enough to add something to my life, even if that something was important and I ached to do it. When I retired and moved to Colorado, my activity level did not change as expected and I could not squeeze  anything new into life.

Well, it must be something important — whatever it is — because I received the ultimate notification just recently: ‘You have heart disease and it could kill you. But it won’t, this time. You’ll live a long and healthy life and you’ll get an inarguable second chance to do this thing for once and for all.’

‘Voice-Of-God’ notifications are rare, I think. Too often you and I have seen them used to give legitimacy to a project wanting to be done by the receiver. I don’t know how God uses his voice. So let’s just say that if such a thing were to happen to me, I’d vet it six ways from Sunday and still come out on the doubting side.

My special project is writing a book.

Let the doubting begin.

Who cares!? Everyone I know wants to write a book. I don’t even know yet what the darn thing is about. Yet I cannot stop thinking about it. I must sound like the boy who cried “fire” in a crowded theater so often that no one believed him when one actually occurred. Can’t blame anyone for not believing. Still, the book burns in me.

A confluence of factors brought me here. First, I’ve been telling doctors for decades that there is something wrong with my heart. No one listened until early this year. My new doc heard something I said, ran a test, connected the dots and announced: “Heart Disease.” This was later confirmed by CT scans which impressively showed calcium blockages in three of the major arteries servicing my heart.

Things began to happen fast. A long trip to a major medical center; laparoscopic surgery to determine the adequacy of stents (nope. Gotta be vein grafts; three of them). Two days later, I was on the schedule and on the table. My sternum was zipped open and the surgeon bypassed my clogged arteries with replacements from other parts of my own body. Let the recovery begin.

Of course, any confluence has at least two parts. My ‘part 2’ actually began when I was just 2½ years old; the first time I realized what life on this planet meant to me. I was a gifted communicator. Through the years, I wrote, spoke, broadcast, produced, interviewed, researched, contextualized all manner of material for the good of my fellow man. It was all well accepted by my peers and I couldn’t wait for tomorrow when I’d be able to do it all over again.

Except for that elusive book.

Maybe it’s the enormity of the task. Research, drafts, editors, congruity. Maybe it’s the success rate of books on the shelf. How many books are written only to be ignored at the library or bookstore? So much work. Failure cannot be an option. Success cannot be guaranteed.

Am I even a good writer? Yes. I believe so. Absolutely. But then I am not the reader of my own material, am I? You be the judge. Sunlight Blog and ElderBlog are readily available for inspection. Countless additional materials rest in my own files and in the files of companies for which they were created.

The need to write remains so loudly pronounced that all the if’s are swept off the table. You don’t write because you want to; you write because you have to.

And that brings us back to this moment in time. It’s not a deciding moment; I rather think that the decision has been made for me already. If it’s a book that’s useful to others, I’m good with that. If it’s fiction, well, I’ve always written reality; fiction could be fun and interesting to me.

Whatever it is, it’s time for me to get on with the physical healing of my body. I hear that book tours are murder.

by Fred Marx

Following is a re-post from my now-retired ElderBlog.

– – –

The events of September 11, 2001 caused me to write an e-mail to a friend in which I said: “If there’s a silver lining to be found in all of this, it is that Americans will bond, and will return to civility.” I was right. For about two weeks.

We don’t yet know what brought about the horror in Tucson this weekend [the Gabby Giffords shooting]. It could easily be argued that insanity is the cause. But well-meaning people, seemingly from across the political spectrum, are using this occasion to make the statement: ‘We must return to civilized discourse.’ I want to believe respect and decency will be the ultimate result of the coming dialog, but I fear that I don’t believe. The lesson learned from 9/11 is still fresh in my mind.

Since the current thinking is political, I will offer these words as perspective. In January 2009, I wrote an essay that I ultimately chose not to publish. It focused on the vitriol of modern-day political campaigns. While campaigning is not the subject of this weekend’s events, some of these points resonate.

– – –

I’ve lost a friend.

My request had been an innocent one – I asked him to remove me from his political e-mail forward distribution list.  “I get way too many e-mails”, I explained, “and have no time to read forwards.  But do, please, keep me up on what’s happening with you and your lovely wife and kids.”

He replied almost immediately.  “The reason you don’t want to read my e-mails is because I’m right and you know it.”  I haven’t heard from him since.  A twenty-five year friendship was finished.

Maybe it’s because we failed to maintain a more personal relationship after our careers sent us to different places.  Our political viewpoints had always been dissimilar, but close proximity can soften the edge with which a point is driven.  Or is it that, in recent election cycles, wedge issues, driving-up-the-negatives, and scurrilous opponent branding – lies – were weaved into our political / societal / campaign fabric.

Truth be told, these tactics are not recent at all.

In 1800, Thomas Jefferson endured a presidential campaign in which supporters of his opponent, President John Adams, labored mightily to convince the public that the then-vice president was an atheistic coward hell-bent on ripping Bibles from the homes of God-fearing Americans. A Jeffersonian writer, in turn, called Adams a “hideous hermaphroditical character which has neither the force and the firmness of a man nor the gentleness or sensibility of a woman.”

In later campaigns, Andrew Jackson’s wife was referred to as a woman of the night, and Abraham Lincoln was characterized as a baboon in as many creative ways as the opposition could imagine.

-- excerpted from “Negative Campaigning -- What's New?"
by Larry J. Sabato, The Los Angeles Times  11/4/2008

Negative campaigning has continued since.  In just my years of political awareness came theDaisy adused by Lyndon Johnson against Barry Goldwater in 1964; theBlack baby of John McCainslur in the George W. Bush primary campaign of 2000; theConvention Adrun by Richard Nixon against Hubert Humphrey in 1968, to cite but a few.

I think that the current generation of campaign operatives was fathered by Lee Atwater.  In the 1980 Congressional campaign, Atwater planted a fake reporter in a press conference who asked about South Carolina Democratic nominee Tom Turnipseed’s mental illness.  The now-adult candidate had, himself, spoken widely about his teenage struggles in the hope that others would benefit from his experience.  But Atwater turned it into an insidious thing and did it with deceit.

Later, he ran a dirty tricks operation from the White House.  His superior, Ed Rollins, wrote in 1996 that Atwater was “ruthless”, “Ollie North in civilian clothes”, and someone who “just had to drive in one more stake”.  He would soon bring his skills to bear in the 1988 Bush/Dukakis campaign.

Massachusetts Democratic Governor Michael Dukakis’ predecessor had authored a furlough program for some of his state’s prisoners.  Convicted murderer Willie Horton committed rape during a weekend furlough; this while Dukakis held the office.  With candidate George H.W. Bush 17 points behind in the polls, Atwater asserted that he would “strip the bark off the little bastard” (Dukakis) and “make Willie Horton his running mate.”  This, and other similar tactics, so raised Dukakis’ “negatives” that Bush won the election.

Karl Rove is a protégé of Nixon’s “dirty tricks” expert Donald Segretti (later convicted as a Watergate conspirator), and soon became tight with Lee Atwater.

If one word were used to define the result of Rove’s campaign and political tactics, it might be “divide.”  Google “Karl Rove” + divide and you’ll find over 220,000 referenced articles from every political perspective.  ‘Smear, polarize, defeat, and devour’ was effectively his mantra through the entirety of his  career in campaign leadership.  And Rove’s progeny were responsible for the 2008 McCain campaign.

I have made clear that the same tactics are being used by both parties. The stench is equally foul, no matter its source.  Worse still, it extends now from the highest office to the lowest.

My now-lost friend subscribed to the talking points supporting his political leaning.  He didn’t have to reason them through.  He had only to receive them, agree with them automatically, and espouse them as his own.  This, I think, is his (and, perhaps, our) greatest sin: to accept, unchallenged, the “facts” as they are fed to us.

We live busy lives.  Two-income households, kids’ school and extra-curricular activities, our own professional, community and social activities.  There just isn’t enough time in the day.  Nevertheless, we make the time to do the things that are important.  Such a thing is participation in the political process.  If we don’t know what’s going on in some detail, the headlines will hold sway.  Sound bites will be the basis for our decision-making.  And these decisions could become sources of regret both in the near term and for future generations.  The demagogues will have won.

Lee Atwater died of a brain tumor in 1991 at the age of 40.  Call it a deathbed revelation if you must, but, by most accounts, Atwater came to understand the wrongness of his tactics.  He spent the precious energy of his last days begging the forgiveness of those he had smeared.  In Life Magazine (Feb.1991) he wrote:

“My illness helped me to see that what was missing in society is what was missing in me: a little heart, a lot of brotherhood.  The country … can learn on my dime.”

– – –

If there’s a silver lining to be found in all of this, it is that Americans will bond, and will return to civility…..

by Fred Marx

If this were another screed about new technology, it would be titled “Why I Hate My Fancy-Schmantzy New Smartphone.” Or, “Sliced Bread Has Fewer Crumbs Than Windows 10.” This is not about that.

This is about the love/hate relationship I have with tech that’s keeping me alive and fully functional. Overly dramatic? Not to me.

I think of myself as healthy; maybe even healthier than most people my age. I eat (mostly) good foods, get a reasonable amount of exercise, and more than enough fresh mountain air and sunshine. I have none of the health risk factors for anything.

Yet, I stop breathing about 52 times per hour while I’m sleeping. Yep … Obstructive Sleep Apnea. And that serves up the first of two examples of what I’m calling negative technology: Continuous Positive Airway Pressure. You know it as CPAP.

If ever there was a perfect medical/mechanical concept, it is this one. If the airway closes during sleep, the CPAP machine rests quietly at your bedside and gently pushes some humidified air into the nose to keep the airway open. Simple! Just an innocuous machine, a 6ft hose and a little mask to cover your nose and mouth. But that’s where the problem begins.

Half of everyone for whom CPAP is prescribed — stop using it. Some people never even acquire or use the blessed thing (God only knows why). Others are claustrophobic about having a mask separating them from perfectly good room air. Others never find an effective and comfortable mask from among the myriad styles and sizes available. I’m in this last group.

It took months to find a mask that worked even moderately well. It took years to find the mask that actually works for me now. Huzzah! Or maybe not so much.

Just try to sleep in a position other than flat on your back. Wanna roll over? You have to half-wake up, drag the hose to wherever you need it, reposition the mask on your face and try to fall back to sleep. In my case, this ritual takes place several times a night. Need to take a little stroll down the hall at 2:30am? Take it all off, stroll, get back into bed, put it all back on, and try to fall back to sleep. Wanna cuddle with your honey? Fuggedaboutit. Can’t be done. Why? The answer is blowing in the wind. CPAP users well know the song.

In business, there’s something called ‘The cost/value proposition.’ It applies to everything, really. If I put out this amount of energy, I get that benefit back. If I invest in this enterprise, I am likely to receive that return-on-investment in three years. If I spend this amount of money at the store, I get that number of Snickers® bars.

In the Obstructive Sleep Apnea business, the cost/value proposition is easy: use it and you don’t die.

The mask that works for me is not really a mask at all. Rather, it looks and functions like a nasal canula … the kind of contraption you see strapped to hospital patients’ faces to give them oxygen. It’s perfect for me. Except that it isn’t.

My canula requires a seal in order to deliver the goods. For months, the skin at the tip of my nose objected to the overnight attachment of this foreign invader; objected to the point of developing blisters and scabs. Ewww. It was during this period that I began working for a new employer. (Yes, I know I’m retired. But I’m doing a very bad job of it.) Anyway, the scab on the tip of my nose was so evident that I had to explain to the boss that I am not, in fact, snorting cocaine. Embarrassing. For all I know, cocaine would be better.

So, that’s the cost part. The benefit part is that I wake up in the morning without feeling like I’ve had 52 heart attacks. Honestly, it hurts. And the hurt stays with you all day.

* * *

A million years ago, I spent lots of time on flight lines, the areas of an airport where (usually military) aircraft are parked and serviced. Can you guess how many decibels of sound are generated by a fighter jet ramping up its engines? That’s right, a gazillion decibels. Hearing protection? Not me.

My job was to visually document certain flight operations and practices. For this, I shouldered a 40lb television camera with a 9lb telephoto lens all tethered to a 15lb battery belt and a nice set of headphones. Headphones? Don’t they amplify sound? Why, yes they do. If the engines generated a gazillion decibels, my headphones generated five gazillion. It goes with the job. Hearing damage? Oh yeah. Just ask my wife.

I didn’t actually know I was impaired until years later when someone who’d seen my profile asked, “Hey Fred, how’s your hearing?” “Huh?”

Wikipedia tells me that the first hearing aids were developed in the 1600’s. They were called Ear Trumpets EarTrumpet.jpgand they looked weird and nobody liked using them – so they didn’t. Two hundred years later,bluto.jpg electronic hearing aids were invented, but you had to hire a big burly guy to carry them around for you. Nobody liked the smell of burly guys, so nobody used the hearing aids. (Note: deodorant hadn’t been invented yet.)

Yet another two hundred years later, I was introduced to my first hearing aids. By then, technology had improved the devices and shrunk them to a size that you could hang behind your ears. But, if, like me, you wore glasses, the parts that hung the glasses on your ears rubbed against the hearing aids causing horror-movie sound effects all day long. I didn’t much care for that, so I stopped using the hearing aids. And I haven’t watched a horror movie since.

Just this week, I got the latest greatest technologically zip-a-dee-doo-dah digital hearing aids by ReSound. They were crafted specifically from moldings taken of my ear canals. They are a fraction of the size of the old devices. ThReSound Hearing Aid.jpgey have hidden microphones that face forward (unlike the last pair). They have some noise cancellation. They have push-button settings for female voices, male voices, and rock ‘n roll. Seriously! I can raise and lower the volume in either or both ears, take phone calls via Bluetooth, and they make my eggs-over-easy. Okay, not really that last part.

Sounds great, huh? (Pun intended.) The value in the cost/value proposition seems pretty obvious: I get all these benefits and I can hear better. The cost part of the proposition is that they are not completely invisible, and they are slightly uncomfortable. Maybe I’ll get used to them. Maybe I won’t.

I’m expecting a delivery from FedEx any day now. The package will contain accessories: a wireless microphone my wife can clip to her blouse so I can clearly hear every golden syllable she speaks; and an actual real live remote with which I can control ambient sound, the directionality of the mics, and the size of the bubbles my CPAP machine blows to amuse the cats at night. bubbles.jpg Okay, not really that last part.

(Personal note: please don’t tell my wife about the FedEx package. If she ever finds out about the mic, she’ll make me wear the hearing aids. Thank you.)

There are historical markers in my life just are there are in yours. Mine include:

  • The Kennedy Assassination — I was in 6th Grade French class when the news was announced over the loudspeaker. My then-crush, Dionne, was sobbing in the next row. That’s how I knew it was important.
  • Watergate — the beginning of my obsession with politics.
  • Exxon Valdez — the spoiling of the waters in my precious Alaska. I took it personally. Still do.
  • 9-11 — the hotel staff was huddled around the lobby TV. I glanced at the screen on the way out the door. A plane hit the WTC. My first impression: “It’s New York. We’re tough. We’ll work it out.”

I’m a bit surprised that I haven’t chosen to write about the deeper meanings for each of these events before. Even more surprised am I that 30 years have passed and I’ve never written about the Shuttle Challenger disaster.

I was, at that time, the Marketing and Programming Manager for the big cable system in Anchorage. I was beset with union votes, expansion woes, Mike Tyson fights, and the press queries that go with all of these.

On this morning thirty years ago, the TV was on in the bedroom as I got dressed for that day’s work. The nascent CNN was covering all of NASA’s launches and I watched them all because I like the adventurous aspects of science, space and space travel. A minute after launch, when the words, “Go at throttle up” were spoken, I knew what would happen.

What did happen, of course, was instantly recognizable as anomalous, to say the least. It was visually horrifying.

And I stood there and watched, and said to myself: “It’s going to be a really bad day.”

I was instantly ashamed of myself.

Seven lives had been snuffed out. I wasn’t thinking about their loved ones. I was thinking about the press calls I would be fielding throughout that day.

If I could paint this damning story in a positive light, it would be to say that I learned, in that moment, to think outside of myself. Sure, I’m important. But I am not alone.

ChallengerCrew

 

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My friend Vincent is deeply into all things science. When something peaks his interest, he blasts it out to his e-mail list. Yesterday he broadcast a post about “blood moons”. As moons go, blood moons are remarkably rare; think of them as a total eclipse of the moon – where the earth blocks the light from the sun. Because of their relative rarity, some are moved to think of them as signs of the beginning of Apocalypse.

It’s all good. But Vincent’s article made me think of an article I read earlier this month. It asked: “Are Republicans Or Democrats More Likely To Survive The Apocalypse?” A curious question, I thought. What makes this article interesting is the way the answer is derived.

Imagine a bunch of uber-smart numbers nerds sitting around the conference room table chewing on the variables presented by the posited question. What results is a transcript of thoughtful, funny, expansive, preposterous, sometimes profane dialog that’s worth the reading. Enjoy!

http://fivethirtyeight.com/datalab/are-republicans-or-democrats-more-likely-to-survive-the-apocalypse/